How To survive An Interview Rejection
Interview Rejection
There are three types of interviews that I know of: There is the ‘Successful Interview”: Congratulations; You got your job! There is the “This Ain’t It Interview”: This is the one you attend, and you kind of know that this isn’t for you. The pleasantries are made, the questions answered. The spark just isn’t there, and thus, the interview rejection letter isn’t entirely a surprise.
Then, there is that job interview that is “The Conundrum”. This is the interview for the role that you really want. This is the interview that you worked really hard to get. This it’s your ‘Ideal Role’ : You did your research. You got to interview. You get to meet the decision makers. The interview seems, at face value, to have been a success…. This is the one that looks right, but, it feels wrong.
Honour your gut instincts: Whatever the words are that your brain is processing and even if the smile is saying; “ of course we can do that’, if you feel something else is happening, then notice that. Do not be surprised, if there has been a twist in your belly, if you receive a “No we can’t because of XY&Z” letter by return of post. The truth is that this “No” was there from the beginning and you knew it. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Suddenly you can find yourself thinking:
’“Oh, I’ve been here before, I recognise this situation. But STILL I believed the hype, still I fell for it, still I conned myself into believing this was going to happen.”
At these junctures of my life I can feel like a conned child. I can berate myself for being ‘stupid and naive’ and for allowing the small, hopeful person inside to be misled. I can feel angry and I want to push the world away.
“This interview rejection was in service of greater things”
But actually it is only one interview in one organisation. It was only one transaction and I have learned to be mentally disciplined. Now I refuse to allow that to taint the sunny day or all the other potential in the world. It is only one person’s inadequacy and inability to be courageous enough to be real and honest. It is actually their problem in the mainstay, even if it is my disappointment in the here and now.
I choose to nurture myself in instead. I allow myself to feel hurt for a little while because it is indeed a betrayal. I will let the tears fall because this was important to me. I do this in service of healing that hurt. I will heal that hurt because I refuse to be become bitter, twisted and hardened, because this is not how I want to operate in the world. I will not allow another’s inadequacy to taint my being. Neither do I need to confront that behaviour and make it more than it is. Nor do I need to shame anyone in order to feel better at their expense. I do need to be kind to myself, to tend to my disappointment and, to hear my hurt in order that I can set down my disappointment. This way I can walk back out into the world whole and hopeful again. Strengthened and ready to ask and trust. I can be open enough to receive all that is offered.
“I will not allow another’s inadequacy to taint my being”
When we stay bitter it closes the door to all the other generous and amazing exchanges: Never give disappointment that power. Having grieved a little for ‘what could have been’, remind yourself that this loss is not for what actually ‘was’. What you probably learned from that interview process was that it was not only did they not see you as a good fit from them, but perhaps they too are not fit for you. This interview rejection was in service of greater things.
“There is always something to be learned, especially from the more painful experiences.”
Here’s some great guidance from Uzair Bawany at The Guardian on rising again.
Rise again and work hard to nurture your opportunities. Be really grateful for those endeavours that weren’t successful because, within each ‘failure’, you discovered these chances weren’t what you had hoped for or what you needed. This way you are free to find the role that you deserve. There is always something to be learned, especially from the more painful experiences. Job interview aren’t only a process of elimination for interviewers, they can work in just the same way for interviewees too.